Preacher's Block

This preaching tip was shared by Preacher’s Block co-founder, Hunter Bethea. If you’re interested in joining the most focused preachers in the world, sign up here.

I was listening to a podcast episode with Chris Voss, author of the book Never Split the Difference. As a former hostage negotiator with the FBI, he learned that people will almost never change until they feel understood. I think that’s a helpful word for us as preachers.

Let’s use a hypothetical. Say you’re preaching on the seventh commandment: “You shall not commit adultery.” You could say, “Why would any of you ever cheat on your spouse? You must be out of your mind to throw your life away like that.” Most anybody that’s being tempted to commit adultery will stop listening to you because, in their minds, you don’t understand where they’re coming from.

Or you could say, “Listen, I know some of you come in here today already making risky decisions with someone you’re attracted to. I know you might be so done with your marriage that you’re ready to throw it away. Maybe your spouse cheated on you themselves. Maybe there’s no love left in your marriage.” That person now feels seen and understood. They know that you may not understand their exact situation, but you can understand why someone would be in a situation like theirs. Now you have an open door to talk to them.